E Pluribus Unum (Out of Many, One)

As New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said today in his daily briefing: During these unprecedented times, we should remember these simple but meaningful words: “Excelsior” (Ever Upwards) and “E Pluribus Unum” (Out of Many, One).

I appreciate being able to provide uninterrupted sessions with my clients virtually, but I still wish to do more to stay connected during these difficult times. The necessary physical distancing we are practicing doesn’t have to mean social disconnection. Like most people, I’m struggling to find new ways to feel connected and am deeply grateful for those offering tremendous acts of courage, on the front lines of the emergency services and healthcare systems, or behind the scenes. We all have a part to play.

We can all be connectors, reaching out to one another and tapping into our best selves. To stay connected, I started culling together a variety of resources to share with my clients and have created a new page on my website to help us cope better when feelings of isolation, fear and sadness are experienced. I’d love to hear from you, communicating in whatever way you prefer (email, text, direct message, or through my contact page), so please send your own suggestions for coping or reach out if you are in need of support.

Wishing everyone health and safety. With hopes of offering us all a virtual hug, you can view some useful resources here:

Connecting During Covid-19

Forest Bathing Right Here in Central Park

On a balmy night in the city last week, I learned the wonderful art of forest bathing, led by Urban Edge Forest Therapy founder Nancy Kopans. I am always seeking resources that can help us find peace and access to nature while still living and thriving in this bustling city.

A certified forest therapy guide, Nancy skillfully led our group through a variety of guided experiences in the ramble of Central Park, inviting us to slow down and take in the natural beauty around us. We participated in several “invitations” over the course of the evening, such as slowly walking through an open field following a brief meditation, using a variety of our senses to take in the experience fully. We sat by a babbling brook, and we shared a tea ceremony together as a group. There were solitary moments that nourished our inner child along with shared group activities, perfectly balanced and harmonious at the end of a long day.

The concept of forest bathing is known to offer numerous health benefits, including reduced stress and improved mood. I highly recommend this experience as a way to awaken your senses and feel more at peace. To learn more about Nancy Kopans and Urban Edge Forest Therapy, click here.

Give yourself a loving gift today--be vulnerable.

Brené Brown's TedTalk on The Power of Vulnerability continues to inspire. While multitasking on the elliptical this morning, looking for a resource for a client, I chose to rewatch this powerful TedTalk and want to (re)share some of Brené Brown's insights. It’s hard to believe she offered us this wisdom back in 2010. It's more relevant and important today than ever! Watch and listen (again, even if you have):

Through her research, she found: "The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging.” What did they have in common? One fundamental thing: "They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.”

As you go through your own day, ask yourself if you ever numb yourself from feeling. There are so many ways to hide from perceived pain, whether it's through food, an electronic device, a substance, blaming others, whatever. Take a deep breath, and then try to make a change today. Let yourself be fully seen and turn towards your vulnerability, even if it’s hard to do. Even if it’s scary. As Brené Brown shared, a negative cycle can take place where we close off to vulnerability when we feel shame or judgment.  "The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today. There's no discourse anymore. There's no conversation. There's just blame. You know how blame is described in the research," she asks. "A way to discharge pain and discomfort.”

So, have compassion for yourself. Instead of numbing vulnerability, try to find empathy for yourself and those around you. We can do better. There is incredible value and meaning in connection — It shows our strength as humans when we can be vulnerable alone and together. Give yourself a gift -- embrace your vulnerability and believe you are worthy of love.

Floating: Imagine one hour without any noise or sensory overload

If there is one thing New York City residents, and most likely everyone, could use it is getting a break from all of the daily input and overload streaming through our brains. Maybe you have heard about the benefits of floatation tanks. It is not science fiction. It is actually old school since floatation tanks, which are really over-sized bathtubs filled with over 800 pounds of Epson salts, have been recommended for centuries for their soothing and healing effects. In the many floatation tanks popping up at spas and wellness centers, you get an hour to float, dream and meditate without any external stimuli. As they potentially offer the perfect combination of physical and mental health benefits, I wanted to see if this experience could help my clients. A colleague and I decided to try it first-hand and see if the benefits were measurable. (Check this link for more info)

After just one visit, we felt truly peaceful and heartened, with the effects lasting a few days. The buoyancy of the Epson salts offers a unique opportunity to experience zero gravity, something we never get to feel in the real world. We are always aware of the effects of gravity, with our bodies in contact with other surfaces or objects at all times. While floating, we can clear our minds in peace without any external intrusions.

I came out after the hour with a wonderful sense of calm and overall well being, like after deep meditation. Your body actually gets to stop paying attention to the fight-or-flight response in the brain’s amygdala and has a chance to relax, lowering cortisol and adrenaline while also increasing dopamine and endorphin levels. We can all use a little less stress and a little more of this natural shifting of brain chemistry. Take a look at this Ted Ed video about the effect of stress on the brain.

My clients have heard me talk at length about the importance of quieting the fight-or-flight response. Imagine a way to deepen and enhance a meditative state all while lowering feelings of anxiety and depression. Imagine a way to feel more freedom from cravings and phobias. Imagine a way to increase creativity and productivity. There are many locations to choose from here in New York—Take a look at this statewide listing of floatation tanks (or search nationally for other locations). There are Groupons and the like, too, to keep it more affordable.

While the idea of trying a floatation tank may sound “out there” or different, it is actually a simple, straightforward and pleasurable experience. Therapy works best when we combine the mental and emotional work with physical outlets, respecting the mind-body connection. Yoga, meditation, acupuncture, and floatation, to name just a few examples, offer ways to lower stress. Ultimately, when we find more joy and peace in every day life, we feel better.

Do You Look For A Clearly Marked Path In Your Life—Or Do You Want To Forge One Yourself?

I’ve been thinking a lot about paths lately—envisioning them, capturing them digitally, and wondering why some people prefer a clear path in life while others figure it out along the way. Last summer, I completed a fairly challenging hike in Scotland with my family. Once at the top of the mountain, which had involved a steep but obvious trail on the ascent, I realized that there was no clear way down. Mud and running water made it difficult to see which way would get us down safely. I tried to find the pre-determined “official” path, but after some slipping and sliding, I chose to head down an unmarked, muddy course, even though it seemed a little scary at first. I couldn’t help but see the life lessons to be learned, and we all came away from that experience facing some realizations about ourselves. Our reactions to challenges can sometimes show a wish for control or a fear of what lies ahead. Hikes like this one can illuminate a lot about who we are and how we function in the world.

Do you prefer a clearly labeled path? Or are you comfortable ‘winging it’ as you try to find your way? While finding your own path, are you excited about the journey itself or are you just focused on finishing unscathed? By trying to stay present in the moment and trusting our instincts, we can find out a lot about ourselves. Trust yourself, but also those traveling on the path with you. Feel connected as partners or fellow travelers — appreciating the differences in each other's styles and outlooks. Most of all, enjoy the experience itself—and don’t be surprised if the path you choose is different from what you expected.

Fending Off the Winter Blues in New York City

As soon as we turned the clocks back last weekend, I started hearing the comments from clients and friends alike. “I hate leaving work in the dark—all I want to do is go home and pull up the covers.” It’s that time of year when the blues can start, and it’s hard to stay energized and motivated. I usually start to get more calls about this right around now too, with the holiday season looming. When it’s not really freezing yet but everyone remembers how brutal the New York City winters can be. Even if there were difficult issues faced during the summer months, many people start to feel them hit harder when the darkness creeps in earlier and the fun summer activities are a distant memory. Whether you have an actual diagnosis of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or are experiencing increased feelings of sadness or depression for any reason, there are many ways to help yourself. Even though it may feel difficult, it’s a good plan to start combatting these feelings right away, before negative feelings heighten. The winter blues may feel even worse in New York City because of the specific issues of our urban existence. Many people go right from their buildings into the subway underground and then to a cubicle without any windows. Many New York City apartments lack sunny and open views, too. Even when the sun is out, we can feel deprived of the positive feelings of daylight. But life in the Big Apple can actually be filled with joyful moments that feel more hopeful and connected. Here are some simple—but important—tips to help during this time of year:

1) Take a walk in the natural sunlight. Even if it’s cold outside, bundle up and walk in the park or areas where the buildings are lower. Studies show that your spirits can be lifted when you move your body outside in the winter sunlight, staying active. You’ll increase your endorphins and lower your anxiety, too, which will help boost your mood overall. If you can’t be outside, try to sit near windows whenever possible. Even though the subway is usually quicker, try taking the bus for a change of pace. If you can, exercise near a window. Keeping active will help you stay on track.

2) Imagine some joyful experiences that you can have during the winter. We all know that winter will arrive every year. Now is the perfect time to think more positively about the things you like about the season, and then picture yourself doing them. Do you like ice skating but think it's too expensive or touristy? Lasker Rink at the northern end of Central Park is a less crowded alternative. Positive thoughts are key when you’re feeling blue. Create some rituals or plan some winter activities with loved ones so that you can look forward to these events.

3) Pay attention to your body. Eat cleanly. Try to eat fresh, seasonal food and take supplements, like Vitamin D if you’re not getting enough natural sunlight. Experiment with spicy foods or herbs that boost your immune system, such as turmeric and ginger. The healthier your body, the better your brain and mood function. Of course, speak with your doctor before taking any supplements. Try to eat mindfully. Take a moment before you eat to experience more fully the food you have chosen. Take time to relax and savor the experience.

4) Try some holistic tools, like hypnotherapy, a powerful method of emotional healing and empowerment. I completed training in Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy, which can bring about a state of deep relaxation and peace. Other tools to consider are guided imagery, meditation or yoga.

5) Bright light therapy, through the use of light boxes, is a proven treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Spending 30 minutes a day in this type of light can help improve your mood dramatically. For better sleep patterns, you can use a Dawn Simulator year-round to help your body wake or ease into sleep more naturally through a timed lighting shift for dawn or sunset. You can also enhance your home environment through an ionizer, which can keep the air fresh and allergen-free for better health and relaxation. When you are sleeping better and more comfortable at home, you will feel better in general.

6) Inspire yourself and find avenues to express yourself creatively, all year long. Finding meaningful activities that help you feel rejuvenated and valued will help you feel better. Try activities like meditation, journaling, creating art or volunteering for an important cause. Create a Live-It (rather than a Bucket) List to challenge yourself and set goals. Believe in yourself and your capabilities.

7) Most importantly, be kind and nonjudgmental of yourself. Banish negative self-talk. Enjoy your own company or seek out activities with people who believe in and care about you. When you are feeling sad, there is a tendency to isolate. These are the exact times to say yes to otherwise enjoyable invitations and keep up a schedule or routine.

In my sessions, I create a safe place to explore thoughts and feelings, offering specific tools to improve your feelings of self-confidence and overall well-being. Of course, feeling blue can happen any time of year, and aren’t always a sign of seasonal affective disorder. If you are experiencing sadness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, changes in your sleeping and eating habits, a reduced level of energy, or feelings of hopelessness, seek the help and support of a therapist. You don’t have to go through it alone.